Friday, June 14, 2013
I am still on my back in the snow with Creed on my chest... wait no um that's the picture, but I am still on my back just hanging out in my living room and thinking about the last two weeks of my life and when all is said and done my heart cries out 'God is Good'. But let me tell you, these two weeks have been difficult. Never before in my life have I had an injury like this one that has sidelined me for so long. I feel like I haven't quite been myself for a very long time and I'm getting used to being the guy that can't walk straight. This last week I have seen the most progress, which is good since I have been going to the chiropractor twice a day for two weeks. In fact, she felt so sorry for me last week that she saw me on her day off to help me get better.
This last week in particular has dealt some hard blows. On Saturday night my computer died, on Monday night my car broke in many expensive ways and after being on my back for so long and feeling frustrated by that it just seemed like a lot of stuff was piling on. The question can be "God what are you doing why his this happening?" but for some reason as I was getting out of my broken car and trying to get into my house with my broken back the cry of my heart was a lyric from a song "you are so good to me, you heal my broken heart... " and I don't know why other then the fact that God really does change our lives when we surrender them to him. The Holy Spirit isn't a joke it's a reality that turns your world upside down and gives you joy when you can't come up with a good reason to have it.
I am so thankful that right now as I type this, somehow, my car has been fixed and my bank account is okay, my back is feeling much better and I can walk more then twenty feet now without collapsing in agony, my computer was replaced and is working like a dream, but most of all there is a spirit of joy inside me giving me hope for what is to come.
In times like this I'm glad that my friends are much better than Job's friends. They haven't gathered around me and asked me to repent of the sin that caused all this in my life. They have surrounded me with love and grace and lifted my family up when we were in a dark place. Through prayers and encouragement, through sympathy and empathy, and through just the practical willingness to take me to the chiropractor. I am left feeling very grateful for the times I have had with them getting to know them better and learning how to enjoy letting others serve me and my family. We are a body and it is beautiful how we love each other.
Looking back on this time, and I know it's not quite over yet, I'm so thankful for the things that God has done in my life. He has slowed me down a lot and has changed my perspective. When everything around me was breaking God was merciful and helped me to see the things in this world in their proper place. I was surprised at how calm I was and how much peace I had knowing that all these things would get taken care of. When you can't walk or move so many things seem so small in comparison. I'm also thankful for all the time I have had with my kids. I am really learning to like as well as love my kids. I'm spending lots of time watching shows with them and talking with them and getting to really know them better and I'm really liking it. God has used this time to help me become a more patient man also, as I wait and wait for my body to heal, and as all the things that I used to be able to do so quickly now take me a lot longer.
My job has been interesting of late. I have spent a lot of time preparing for the future lessons that I am going to teach. I have spent a lot of time missing being with the kids and being in my office. I was so thankful to be able to go to MK and was very grateful that months ago I had planned to have a guest speaker for that night so that I didn't have to try and find a way to teach from the floor :). God is good!
In all the times where I have felt the most frustrated and hopeless during this process I have had someone, often my wife, to tell me that things are going to get better and to trust God. I have had lots of things happen that could have been much worse and I have had the joy of living with a gracious community. I am a different person... mainly I feel shorter :) but I know that I am a better person. We have a choice when hard times come our way, we can be formed by them or we can be destroyed by them. I credit your prayers and love in my life as the reason that God is able to use this to form me. Thank you for walking this road with me.
I hope to be back to normal soon! Monday is coming and I would love to be able to teach from a standing position, and then the next day is a big outing. Jamaica is coming next month and I'm really looking forward to it and I want to be in good health to be able to really help out while there.
Speaking of Jamaica there is a man there who lost his job when he lost his leg and our hope is to be able to give him the money to get a new leg. We have started a fund raiser that gets you a cool shirt and as a result some of the money goes to a fund to get him a leg. Here is the link to getting the shirt if you are interested. Just copy it into your browser.
Bless you all!
Caleb the cripple that is slowly being made into superman again Robbins
If you want to support what I do a little or a lot, on a one time basis or a recurring basis, click on the tab "Supporting the Work" at the top of the page and search for Caleb Robbins and then click on Caleb and Diane Robbins. Diane is my beautiful wife and the mother of my three precious children Creed 6, Asher 4, and Liam 1.